Business Sympathy Cards and Etiquette for the Office

It’s relatively easy to find the right words and actions for happy occasions, but expressing condolences can be one of the more difficult experiences in our daily lives, perhaps even more so in business associations than in personal relationships.

Although words and gestures cannot heal the pain, they can certainly offer solace. What can you do or say to be supportive of co-workers and business associates when they are coping with the loss of a loved one?

Send a sympathy card with a brief handwritten note. Do this promptly and send it to your associate’s home address. Include their family in the note's salutation or contents. Express yourself with compassion and support, but do not presume to define how they feel and do not engage in platitudes. Simply say that you are sorry for their loss and that they are in your thoughts. While a group or department card may be used in your office for occasions such as birthdays, in the case of business sympathy cards it is more meaningful if a single card is sent by each individual or pair of individuals.

Send a gift. In this case, it is perfectly appropriate for a group or department to contribute towards a more substantial gift. Send floral arrangements to a funeral home or residence, along with a very simple gift card. If you choose to send a fruit basket or a food basket, send it to their residence. If the family is Jewish, a basket of kosher foods might be most appropriate.

Make a donation. If the family has specified a preferred charity for any donations, this would be an excellent form of remembrance. Be sure that the charity has the name of the deceased, correctly spelled, and of the donor(s). If the family is Catholic, a Mass card or Novena card may be an appropriate remembrance.

Visit. If a wake is held at a funeral parlor, it is thoughtful to visit, either individually or as a small group. The same is appropriate for a Jewish Shiva, held at a family residence. Your presence and quiet conversation are comforting gestures that can help the bereaved get through the first days of grief. If the location and time have been published for the funeral or memorial service, your attendance would be a way of demonstrating your respect for the bereaved and the deceased.

When the bereaved business associate returns to your workplace, offer your smile, and give them space and privacy in which to catch up with work activities at their own pace.

What not to do: enclose a business card with your gift or business sympathy cards; “drop in” outside of published visiting times; discuss business during a bereavement visit; proselytize your religious beliefs; ask personal questions; give advice when none is requested.